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Thursday 16 May 2013

LO kallo baat Kya mAl hai



Saturday 29 December 2012

My wife


Wrong number


A married couple had just crawled into bed on night when the phone started to ring. The man got up to answer it, "How the hell should I know, that's a thousand miles away!" he exclaimed before slamming down the receiver. "Who was that?" asked a puzzled wife. "I don't have any idea," said the husband. "Some guy wanted to know if the coast is clear."

My wife is expecting


"How does Jeeto like being pregnant?" Santa asked his friend Banta. "Oh, she's not pregnant," Banta replied, "she's expecting." "What's the difference?" Santa pressed. "Well," Banta explained, "She's expecting me to cook dinner, she's expecting me to do the housework, she's expecting me to rub her feet..."

The honest


Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.

Fastest worker


A young man finally got a job at the Post Office. He was full of energy and eager to please. The supervisor agreed to work with the new employee, even though he had been warned that he was still immature and knew nothing of the job. The first job the supervisor gives the young man is in sorting, and much to everyone's surprise, the new employee separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. The supervisor was very pleased and asked the young man to come into his office at the end of the day. He said, "I just want you to know that we are all very proud of you. You're one of the fastest workers we have ever had." The humble young man said, "Thank you, sir. And tomorrow, I'll try to do even better." "Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. "How can you possibly do better?" The young man smiled proudly and said, "Tomorrow, I am going to read the addresses."

Powerfull laxative


This guy goes to the doctor after being constipated for two weeks. The doctor prescribes a heavy-duty laxative and tells him to take two when he gets home. The guy goes home to his fourth story apartment, pops two of the pills and lays down for a nap. When he awakens he finds that the laxative is so powerful that he has relieved two weeks worth of blockage all over the bed as he slept. Totally disgusted the man toils over what to do with the mess and finally decides to bundle up the sheets and pitch them out the window. About this time a wino comes walking along still hung-over from the night before and splat! The sheet lands Right Square on his head. After struggling for a few minutes the wino gets free of the sheet and as he's standing there looking at it, a policeman strolls up after seeing him wrestling with it. "What's going on here?" inquires the officer. "I'm not too sure," replies the wino "but I'm pretty sure I just beat the shit out of a ghost!"

Wet dreams


Banta complained to a doctor that he wetted his bed every night. "Before it happens, do you see any dreams?" the doctor asked. "Yes, doctor. Usually I see a dream in which a small demon comes and says, 'Let's pee.' "OK," the doctor said. "Next time you see the demon, say, No, we've already peed." Next time Banta came to the doctor, the latter asked, "So, did you do as I said?" "Yes, I did." "Did it help?" "No, doctor. Only, it made the matter worse." "How?" "As I said 'We've already peed,' the demon nodded and said, 'Then, let's shit a little.'"

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